Scars

I have a love hate relationship with lessons learned that bring me to my knees, literally and figuratively in a desperate attempt to repent because the conviction is so strong.   Not coming to harm me but to make me realize that I am stepping one foot off this narrow path.     That flesh is winning over spirit.

I am in this continual loop because I still have not learned the lesson because I still find myself being shown that I yet again left the book at home and claiming the dog ate my homework in regards to this issue....

The lesson is in judging by what is seen without gathering the facts and listening to the story.  Seeing the visual scars a person carries from a life that has been not so gentle to them.  Making a decision whether they are worthy of my time....   judging from the eyes that have been scarred from seeing to much life in its ugliness.    And a heart that has been damaged from the jabs of lost love, betrayed friendships,  and a host of not so gentle life hits.   Basically my own personal scars.....

I think most, if not all, make that initial assessment when someone new is introduced into our global atmosphere,  we size up from the initial encounter and decide if this individual is worthy of a few clicks of our second hand not even giving the minute hand a thought.   We immediately assign a label to them,  such as,  poor, rich,  addict,  goody to shoes,  holier than though,  needy,  aggressive, worthy,  unworthy,  better than me,  beneath me.....    it is within seconds of someone walking in our space without many words or even any words being spoken that we make the assessment and print the figurative label out and tag it to their forehead like a hello sticker....   I am guilty of this..... and ashamed to admit it...

I have faced a couple of situations as of late,  that I immediately made a judgment about someone without even a word exchanged.   Immediately labeled them because of the scars they carry,  whether it was the weathered face from being exposed to elements or nicotine.   The clothes that they wore,   the smell as I passed them....   I printed a label  from the dictionary of death to them,  because as soon as I printed it out,  assigned it to them,  I was giving words of death to them....   all this without ever having a conversation.....   God forgive me...

On both occasions, I felt God arrest my soul....  stop me in mid step.  

He called me out on it.....

Reminding me this could be Him because each of us have been built in Their image...  this Sunday school scripture forgotten when the judgment was made....   

We size individuals up like commodities on a shelf,   we pick the one we feel is the prettiest,  riches in flavor and can offer us something, not even looking to what we can offer.  Not looking at the details.

There is this women who has stood in front of my work all summer,   she constantly rocks back and forth,  it doesn't matter if she is standing on the sidewalk or sitting,  She is constantly rocking, shifting her feet.    At first, my judgment was that she is just another homeless unkempt person wondering the streets of town,   which is not a strange sight.   Yep, that judgment quality at its best.  I started making a point to say hello to her as in entered the building.   I found that she came to be looking forward to that from me.   I found myself wondering about her story.  Noticing that she is shy,   would look for me to talk to her.   Me realizing that she caries her scars where they can be seen but ever so yet a child of Abba.  

The more I think about this flaw of judging by scars,  the more I realize this is deeper than just unkempt walking the streets,  that is exist in most environment.   We flock to what is comfortable,  what is accepting to us,  all in effort to not be the one lone sheep walking the journey alone.  That it is better to join in with others that make judgment, than to stand alone and defend,  to not participate...

I think we sell pieces of our spirit, of our soul when we sell out to judgment to fit in, to be accepted by the masses.     We give in the seduction of popularity rather than selling out to the true self.   We give in to judgment because it gives us a tool to size ourselves up with the crowd to see if we are like the norm.

When you study the life of Jesus,  he didn't give in.    He didn't sell out to be accepted.   He was simply himself.

I am finding out that if I set the physical scars aside,   ask questions that take me beyond the emotional scars that are prevalent,  I hear the truth of a persons story that defines truth of how the scars were obtained.  

I typically see THEM in them.   He has scars that are physical so that my scars can be healed. 

Judgment is so easy to distribute,  it is the easier decision to make.   The harder decision to make is to toss judgment,  listen to what is being said,   choose to search for the quality that is THEM.   To choose to be uniquely made as HE tells us we are created to be.   That is the harder road to walk,  but yet I think it brings complete freedom.

When He arrested me on that judgment,  I was stopped in my tracks,  tears ran down my face,  I looked up and I apologized to HIM.  Confessed.    started asking questions to the one judged by me.  Heard the story,  received understanding of the scars that were so visible.   Reminded.  
This will be a continual lesson for me....