Recognizing
Then they took Jesus from Caiaphas
to the governor's headquarters.
It was early morning.
They did not enter the headquarters
themselves;
otherwise they would be defiled
and unable to eat the Passover
John 18:28
This scripture jumps out at me.... grabs my soul to the core.... They had Jesus, the Pharisee had Jesus in there midst.... the one who could save them. The one they have been taught about, the one that they have been looking for..... they didn't recognize Him .... they didn't believe Him... they were betraying the one they didn't realize they were desiring. They were too concerned about not being defiled so they could celebrate Passover.
To betray yet stay clean..... to slay yet remain innocent.
Are we not the same as the Pharisee, determined to betray yet remain unblemished,,,, to have Jesus in our midst but ignorant to the fact He is....
The Pharisee was taught about the Messiah all of their lives, to be on the look out for HIM. That He was coming and would restore to them all that had been lost and to fulfill the promises that scripture taught them. They even strapped these words to their heads literally and yet they missed HIM in their midst.....
They wanted to get the deed done so they could celebrate Passover..... I wonder if it was fear that kept their blinders on.... kept from receiving truth when truth was beside them.
I am in no way or form an expert at scripture, at history or really all the details. But once God revealed to me that my behavior was like that of a Pharisee, my eyes, my soul are always turned when they are mentioned when I read and study, I tend to evaluate my behavior my reactions. Honestly, I have to admit that God was right, I know I shouldn't be surprised by HIS rightness but I do find myself acknowledging and evaluating.
How often is HE in our midst but we do not see HIM.... We go to church our one to three times a week, we read our little devotional and we think we have spent time with HIM and know HIM and would never miss HIM in our midst.... we gain our checkmarks in our spiritual to do list but yet still blind to who HE is......
In my feeble attempt at being transparent, I struggle with organized religion... I have for the last four years, ever since HE called me out on my religious behavior.... I seek real.... I seek to see HIM.... I currently still struggle.... We get one thing right and feel confident about one aspect of our walk with HIM and we think we have it correct in all areas.... we become prideful and we think we are an expert at it..... we stop pursuing HIM as a whole. We begin ushering Jesus to the pilots of our lives asking them to crucify HIM all over again because of our pride in that one area of our spiritual walk....
We don't recognize HIM because honestly we don't really know HIM..... We only know the one that we have heard about not the one that is in our midst. The first real challenge in our walks that appears to divert us from our expectations of what we feel this relationship should look we begin to question HIM, why would HE allow it, why doesn't it look like what I desire, what I planned, what thought it should look like, there is a lot of "I" and really no "I AM"....
I have lost count of my contacts as a hospice chaplain, but I know there is an overwhelming theme I see and I hear, has GOD forgot me..... I am weary, does HE see me..... I know He has a plan but I am tired..... do really believe HE is with me..... the same questions we ask all our lives, even when our story is nearing an end..... We question HIS identity in our midst.....
Not everyone questions but it seems to be a big number..... and I am still truly guilty of the same questions.... specifically when life doesn't go the way I planned and dreamed.
I would like to tell you there is an easy answer but I don't think it is meant to be an easy journey and I don't believe God deserves a relationship with me that HE has to force HIMSELF on me..... I think HE wants us to choose HIM as HE has already choose us.
When all this exposure of being religious came to light for me, I had this visual. There was this cozy den, in a beautiful cabin, with a large stone fireplace with a perfect fire burning. There were two large leather type chairs facing the fire. Jesus was sitting in one chair, the other was empty and was waiting on me. I had a decision to make, was I going to join HIM knowing He was in that chair waiting to speak to me, to spend time with me just talking and sharing or was I going to continue to walk past that door, look in seeing HIM and continue to walk past and not join HIM. See HIM inviting me but continue to do my thing knowing HIS presence was near, calling and choosing me.... inviting me to peace, to stillness, to relationship. Acknowledging HIM in my house but continuing to walk by my own agenda....
I still see that visual, knowing how many days I have walked by the entrance to that room HE invites me into because I choose to grasp on to religion and felt board knowledge. I truly want to enter that room and stay with HIM, choose what HE offers so that I will know HIM when I have to enter other places..... Because I know it is entering and spending time with HIM that will help me to recognize HIM in those places that the crowd is overwhelming. That I will see and recognize the resurrection of living that HE gives rather than the constant calling for HIS death over and over again from my ignorance.....
The Pharisee was taught about the Messiah all of their lives, to be on the look out for HIM. That He was coming and would restore to them all that had been lost and to fulfill the promises that scripture taught them. They even strapped these words to their heads literally and yet they missed HIM in their midst.....
They wanted to get the deed done so they could celebrate Passover..... I wonder if it was fear that kept their blinders on.... kept from receiving truth when truth was beside them.
I am in no way or form an expert at scripture, at history or really all the details. But once God revealed to me that my behavior was like that of a Pharisee, my eyes, my soul are always turned when they are mentioned when I read and study, I tend to evaluate my behavior my reactions. Honestly, I have to admit that God was right, I know I shouldn't be surprised by HIS rightness but I do find myself acknowledging and evaluating.
How often is HE in our midst but we do not see HIM.... We go to church our one to three times a week, we read our little devotional and we think we have spent time with HIM and know HIM and would never miss HIM in our midst.... we gain our checkmarks in our spiritual to do list but yet still blind to who HE is......
In my feeble attempt at being transparent, I struggle with organized religion... I have for the last four years, ever since HE called me out on my religious behavior.... I seek real.... I seek to see HIM.... I currently still struggle.... We get one thing right and feel confident about one aspect of our walk with HIM and we think we have it correct in all areas.... we become prideful and we think we are an expert at it..... we stop pursuing HIM as a whole. We begin ushering Jesus to the pilots of our lives asking them to crucify HIM all over again because of our pride in that one area of our spiritual walk....
We don't recognize HIM because honestly we don't really know HIM..... We only know the one that we have heard about not the one that is in our midst. The first real challenge in our walks that appears to divert us from our expectations of what we feel this relationship should look we begin to question HIM, why would HE allow it, why doesn't it look like what I desire, what I planned, what thought it should look like, there is a lot of "I" and really no "I AM"....
I have lost count of my contacts as a hospice chaplain, but I know there is an overwhelming theme I see and I hear, has GOD forgot me..... I am weary, does HE see me..... I know He has a plan but I am tired..... do really believe HE is with me..... the same questions we ask all our lives, even when our story is nearing an end..... We question HIS identity in our midst.....
Not everyone questions but it seems to be a big number..... and I am still truly guilty of the same questions.... specifically when life doesn't go the way I planned and dreamed.
I would like to tell you there is an easy answer but I don't think it is meant to be an easy journey and I don't believe God deserves a relationship with me that HE has to force HIMSELF on me..... I think HE wants us to choose HIM as HE has already choose us.
When all this exposure of being religious came to light for me, I had this visual. There was this cozy den, in a beautiful cabin, with a large stone fireplace with a perfect fire burning. There were two large leather type chairs facing the fire. Jesus was sitting in one chair, the other was empty and was waiting on me. I had a decision to make, was I going to join HIM knowing He was in that chair waiting to speak to me, to spend time with me just talking and sharing or was I going to continue to walk past that door, look in seeing HIM and continue to walk past and not join HIM. See HIM inviting me but continue to do my thing knowing HIS presence was near, calling and choosing me.... inviting me to peace, to stillness, to relationship. Acknowledging HIM in my house but continuing to walk by my own agenda....
I still see that visual, knowing how many days I have walked by the entrance to that room HE invites me into because I choose to grasp on to religion and felt board knowledge. I truly want to enter that room and stay with HIM, choose what HE offers so that I will know HIM when I have to enter other places..... Because I know it is entering and spending time with HIM that will help me to recognize HIM in those places that the crowd is overwhelming. That I will see and recognize the resurrection of living that HE gives rather than the constant calling for HIS death over and over again from my ignorance.....
I love the visual. We used to "soak" in His presence and do two way journaling. When I would just lay there, quiet, listening to a song that would glorify Him, I would see myself as a little girl, sitting on Jesus' lap. I mostly saw myself and Jesus in one particular setting, but oh my, it was so... words cannot explain. I want to go back there, and all it takes is obedience.
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