No Reverse

Anyone who really knows me, knows that the Outer Banks is my peaceful place.   It is the place that I want to run to when I literally need a time out.   It isn't a fancy place, or in my favorite season, the off season,  a real crowded place.    I enjoy finding the deserted places on the coast and standing and feeling the wind.  Feeling like I am the only one on the planet. 

Some of my most memorable moments in the last several years have been set on the coast of the Outer Banks.     My first fairy ride,   my Baptism,   my mom putting her feet in the water for the first time in decades.   The many walks exploring with my dad, always finding a treasure.  A special shell.   A wig that drifted in from who knows where,  a baby starfish.  It is just my peaceful place.

I grew up near the coast in my single digit years,  some of my highlights as a kid is camping by the ocean.   Back then a parent could allow their kid to explore without worry.   I remember being in shorts and sweatshirt and climbing rocks by the coast, examining drip wood like a major treasure.  It was the scene that represented peace in my childhood.   So no wonder it is my place as an audit.  There is something about the wind that blows at the coast.  It embraces you and literally at times moves you.    The scent of salt and fish tickling your nose.  I still see those pictures every time I hear the song "Don't Rock the Boat".   

This visit was planned to be no different.   The only thing changed was the place we stayed.   I had plans of visiting the sight where I was baptized and to take my mom to the pier where she placed her feet in the water.   Memories.   Revisit the places where good things occurred.     We started out with the place where I was baptized and we could not get to it,  so much road construction.  The parking lot where we would have needed to park was taken over by construction vehicles and trailers.  The other entrance was blocked by sand,  no way to enter.     So we continued the drive to go to the pier.  When we arrived,  again,  no place to park.  So over taken by sand.   There was only one lane to drive.  It was deserted so,  I stopped and walked over the doom and watched the water.   I asked God why I was running into all these hindrances.  It had been two years since I had been back....  what was wrong with returning to the places that meant so much to me.   

The wind was blowing very hard but I could still hear the whisper from my Abba.    Those were amazing times.... yes....  but go forward and not backwards.    Enjoy the now.   The day I have given you now....   make new memories.     I have many more experiences to give you.    

I have no doubt that it was from HIM.  You can feel it deep when it is a personal word of direction that is specifically for you.  It is  DEEP  in your spirit.     

I was on this trip with my parents.  Just us.   We were staying in a place that was the nicest place we had ever stayed.    When we arrived we received an unexpected discount.    Blessing.    We had incredible sunny weather for our driving.   Blessing.     We are on the fifth floor at a place that had an elevator so it wasn't a huge  struggle for my mom.  Blessing.    We could see the sunrise from one end of the room and the sun set from the other.  Blessing.     My mom kept whispering that she didn't ever think she would ever be able to come back.  Blessing that she did.   Took several walks with my dad, who will be 80 in a couple of months.  Blessing.  I realized this trip wasn't about going down memory lane but making new memories with my parents.   About seeing this differently. 

When we returned to the room that day.  I went out and watch a group of about 20 surfers playing in the water.    I am always amazed at watching the surfers and wind surfers in the ocean.  I find these individuals brave.   They represent living to me.  I am not brave enough to take those steps into the water and drift on a board for hours looking and anticipating the perfect wave.    I know I took at least 50 shots of them with my camera.    They had no idea I was observing them.   I felt God say, be brave daughter.  Don't be afraid.   Live.   Choose life daughter.      No, I don't think He was telling me to grab my surf board and join in.   But I do believe He was telling me to stop allowing fear.  Fear from the past,  fear of people,  fear of my parents aging,  fear period to stop me from living.   HE wants me to choose life.

In choosing that life,  that means living in the present,  the now.   Dismissing the past hurts,  offenses, and not living on the memories that brought joy but anticipating new experiences.  Living with expectancy of what HE has promised.     He does promise that HE has a plan and His plans are good,  not for disaster, to give a FUTURE and a hope.      To stop playing life in reverse and start walking in the NOW.  

Last Saturday the day after we returned,  then Sunday and again on Monday,  I heard two different verses repeatedly.  I will share one,   Isaiah 43.13 "Also, from today on I am He alone, and none can deliver from My hand. I act, and who can reverse it?"    He has written HIS plan and no one can take it out of HIS hand,  no one, can reverse it.    He wants the living in the here and now,  taking in the opportunities that HE places in front of me.     To look for new memories,  new opportunities and to choose life that isn't overshadowed with fear but one that is lived out in pure belief and security with whole faith, that HE has this and me.    To not be afraid that the waves will over take me.   The surfers were looking at going forward and riding the wave,   the hard part is swimming against the current.  Sometimes,  we have to swim against the norm in order to ride that perfect wave that is planned for us.   

I think this guy was contemplating his day,  taking it in....   but I am sure it wont be his last day riding the wave and it will be a completely different experience.     New and fresh.    Though he may share his stories and look back at different days,  I am sure He is looking even more forward to the next best day. 

May I look forward to the next best day and not in reverse.